On the other side of my Window!

Sunday evening ... holding a cup of tea... sitting on the stairs looking outside the window.... It was raining... the rain drops were splashing on the window glass slide... as if they are just playing with it .. and window pane facing me was hiding from it or was scared to get drenched in the rain ... or was just too protected like me... I could relate me with it in a way ... :)

My eyes were just looking at them as I was all alone .. then I saw the home on the other side of my window.... not even a home .. it was just a shed of plastic covered from all the sides, but for them it was their home .... Wen I was complaining for the drops of water on my window .. they were trying to put patch on each hole of their shed to protect from the rain ... When I was complaining about more sugar in the tea.. they have no tea... Wen I was complaining for my room being too small... I could see they have no room .. they just have a shed...

For them .. they just wish to have a home of concrete wall.... and for me ... i have that but I still complain ... Why is that when we get something we lose the importance of it.... Cant we put an end to our never ending wishes.... why everything gets complicated when we go higher ...

Why just things stay simple!!!

I wish!!!

I wish ... Life would be different..
I wish .. I would be different..
I wish ... Wishes would be different...

But would the different life, different me and different wishes... make me a better person... will I ever be happy... will I ever know what I want ... will I ever enjoy being my self... will I be just me... Just the inner me.. who wants to live life in her own sky... her own roles... her own life!!

Will I ever be able to clean the mirror of being me from the fog of responsibility.. bond .. social life... and will I ever see the real me who knows what exactly she wants ...

My wish is to be... just me!!!

.........

Its been a long time ... I have not written anything... or I can say .. I haven't had conversation with myself... Few things just happen in life... and at times I feel what I did was wrong .... I hurted few people .. badly .. very badly... but that was never intentional .. I was just not sure what I want from my life . am still not sure... At times... I feel ... am so ruthless.. aimless... have not done anything big with my life .. why ?? everything is so complicated for me ... why I don't have clear picture of whatever I want ... I wish I had time machine ... I could go back and forth .. make things right ... take right decision's at right time .... Is everyone's life so complex... do people really know.. what they want .. or they just struggle and fight with them self to make things right ...