On the other side of my Window!

Sunday evening ... holding a cup of tea... sitting on the stairs looking outside the window.... It was raining... the rain drops were splashing on the window glass slide... as if they are just playing with it .. and window pane facing me was hiding from it or was scared to get drenched in the rain ... or was just too protected like me... I could relate me with it in a way ... :)

My eyes were just looking at them as I was all alone .. then I saw the home on the other side of my window.... not even a home .. it was just a shed of plastic covered from all the sides, but for them it was their home .... Wen I was complaining for the drops of water on my window .. they were trying to put patch on each hole of their shed to protect from the rain ... When I was complaining about more sugar in the tea.. they have no tea... Wen I was complaining for my room being too small... I could see they have no room .. they just have a shed...

For them .. they just wish to have a home of concrete wall.... and for me ... i have that but I still complain ... Why is that when we get something we lose the importance of it.... Cant we put an end to our never ending wishes.... why everything gets complicated when we go higher ...

Why just things stay simple!!!

I wish!!!

I wish ... Life would be different..
I wish .. I would be different..
I wish ... Wishes would be different...

But would the different life, different me and different wishes... make me a better person... will I ever be happy... will I ever know what I want ... will I ever enjoy being my self... will I be just me... Just the inner me.. who wants to live life in her own sky... her own roles... her own life!!

Will I ever be able to clean the mirror of being me from the fog of responsibility.. bond .. social life... and will I ever see the real me who knows what exactly she wants ...

My wish is to be... just me!!!

.........

Its been a long time ... I have not written anything... or I can say .. I haven't had conversation with myself... Few things just happen in life... and at times I feel what I did was wrong .... I hurted few people .. badly .. very badly... but that was never intentional .. I was just not sure what I want from my life . am still not sure... At times... I feel ... am so ruthless.. aimless... have not done anything big with my life .. why ?? everything is so complicated for me ... why I don't have clear picture of whatever I want ... I wish I had time machine ... I could go back and forth .. make things right ... take right decision's at right time .... Is everyone's life so complex... do people really know.. what they want .. or they just struggle and fight with them self to make things right ...

Thoda sa Aasma!!

Whenever I gaze at sky .... I can see darkness ... vastness ... endless.... holding lot of secrets .... a silence ... which speaks something .... lot of stars glittering ... sparkling ... smiling ... looking at us .. Amazes with its beauty ... yet so dark but so lightened ... so vast but so clustered ... scattered still so bonded .... All the stars looks different but still in same sky ... twinkling in a coordination .. .. so organised ... so beautiful ... These stars are not scared of anyone ... they have their own space ... their world ... they owe it ...This is the God's best creation ...

I wish there could be space for me in this sky .. in this world ... I could have my own pace of sky ... I could owe it ... and decorate it with my wishes ... love .. bond.. care ... Will i ever have my own space ... my Aasma ... where life would be the way I want it ... I could do the things ... that I want ... Will I ever have my own "thoda sa Aasma" .. ??

Sasural Genda phool !!

I love to listen songs when am travelling .... that day i just changed the number in my I-Pod ... and song was ... Sasural genda phool ... have heard it many a times ... but this times ... it clicked what does it actually mean ??

Immediately, I called my mom and asked ... why do we call Sasural as Genda phool(Marigold flower) and she explained me ...

As marigold is one flower whose every leaf/petal is a complete flower in itself and Marigold is complete and beautiful flower only if all the petals are together bonded ... Similarly... We have all the reltions in Sasural... Husband, in-laws.. Some sweet and some tangy ... some salty .. and its very important to keep all the relations bonded just like the flower ... so the beauty of family always remains cherished ... In marigold few petals are small, not so beautiful and a little pale ... but when they are seen together bonded .. no one looks at the flaws of that single petal ... its always admired .. and when every single petal is beautiful enough but not closely bonded ... it ruins the beauty of the whole flower ... So ... when it comes to Sasural ... It should be like Genda phool !!!

First Job!!

I just typed a mail whose subject qoutes "Adieu" that means Good bye ... Seems like it has been just few days ... We , Batch of 463 , freshers ... a combination from all the colleges .. some from south .. few from north .. west .. east ... that was a huge conference room, two HR standing in the front ... trying to lower down the noise.... trying to make us laugh ... telling us the Do's and Dont's ... like first rule ... dont call any one SIR or MAM... which voilates our college rule .. :)and then lot of sessions on e-mail ethics, code of business conducts ... dress code policy .... Wow... it was looking like we gonna have a disciplined ... Corporate wali life ... and we actually had a beautiful time ....

Our training batch .... shouting like kids ... waiting for lunch breaks as we used to do in college ... First salary ... First shopping from own money ... first treat ... first gift ....

Never felt .. that we are actually out of our college and we are already in into new phase of life ... 3 months of full enjoyment ... made few frends for life time ... And!!

Boss..... now this is the time to work ... Get to ur work... else u will be left far behind ... and we got so indulged into our work ... 2 years passed ...

Am writing this mail .... and searching all the contacts whom I met from day 1 in this organisation ... Something was going far off .. as I was submitting my ID card , my access card ... My chronos ..... I still dont know why am leaving this place ..... Am just going ....

Is this the way life should be ?? Moving on always for changes ... Will we be ever satisfied with what we have ... will we ever learn to work with our colleauges rather than working against them ??

A glimpse of Arunachal--- Incredible beauty

This photographs were taken by my dad last month … when my brother visited India …. Its realy a mesmerising beauty …